Knowing The Ending

“I always read the last page of a book first, so that if I die before I finish, I’ll know how it turned out.” Nora Ephron

There is only one book that I want to know the ending to in advance, and that’s the Bible. I am glad that I know we win, and Satan loses. But to know the ending to any other story is to lose much of the excitement of the tale.

This is true in life also. If we knew the ending, we might not be motivated to continue. What if we knew who won every contest in advance? No one would ever compete. What if we knew the moment of our death? It sounds good at first, but I suspect it would take a great deal of the joy out of daily living, knowing that time was running out, or even that it wasn’t. It’s the not knowing that makes life an adventure to be lived in moments, not years.

Knowing the ending makes the middle far less exciting.  In wondering every day if we’ll find love, or experience loss, we start from a different perspective, than if we already know the outcome. It’s like already having the answers to a test, and then having to figure out the questions. (Not nearly as much fun.)

It’s the urgency of life that spurs us on toward our goals. And in our youth, it is the feeling of being indestructible, that allows us to take risks that sometimes enhance our lives. For to be too cautious, is to lose our free spirit.

As we grow older, it’s thinking that we still have time left that gives us hope, and makes us persist toward our unrealized dreams. Many discoveries would never occur if we knew there was little time left. We would simply give up on living. But being aware of our own mortality is a great motivator also. (But it’s counter-intuitive to know the approximate date, place, or time.)

Often, if a person is told they are dying, they will die very quickly. But if they’re not told, they will often live far past the predicited time of death. I believe that’s because there is a resignation when you know you have a terminal disease, and your expectation is to die. But if you don’t know you’re dying, you can hang onto hope. And sometimes hope can bring miracles, when it turns into faith. (And sometimes it can’t. But what have you got to lose by hanging onto hope?) You have everything to lose by giving up.

If you knew the sad ending to a love relationship, perhaps you would never chance it. But then you would have missed all the goodness that it brought into your life–all the happiness, and fulfillment. Surely there was sorrow also, but would you want to have missed the joy?

Our Creator knew that life had to be open-ended, and that man does best, when he does not know the ending.  Suspense and surprise is what makes life grand. Knowing the ending just ruins the book for most people. And this is as it should be. For we would always avoid pain, if given the opportunity. But in so doing, we would also miss the pleasure of the dance…

(There’s some interesting information about the rodeo rider in The Dance, Lane Frost, that can be found here): http://www.lanefrost.com/8seconds.htm

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Changes

When you’re finished changing, you’re finished.”  Benjamin Franklin

Change–an inevitable part of life. But we resist it, don’t we? Have you ever wondered why? There are many reasons, but one is that we become comfortable in our current situation. We know what to expect, and what not to. We feel better able to conquer known demons, than the unknown. So we stay in our snug ruts, afraid to venture out into something different. But sometimes change is thrust upon us, and we have no choice. That’s when we want to grit our teeth, dig in our heels, and refuse to budge. Excitement, advancement, and fulfillment are waiting around the next bend, but we have to be willing to go around the curve, instead of camping on the highway. To go forward, we have to shake things up a bit. While a predictable routine may be comforting, it can also be stifling. If we feel that life is boring, we’ll lose our creative edge. Accepting change can be the difference between really living or simply existing.

Still, change isn’t easy. I found another great quote that really resonated with me:

“It’s not the change we fear. It’s the place in between the trapezes. It’s like Linus when his blanket is in the washing machine.” William Bridges

I absolutely love, love, love that quote, don’t you? That’s exactly what it’s like when we’re going through change. It’s like when you let go of one trapeze, but you haven’t grabbed hold of the next one. And yes, it’s like Linus–having to let go of his beloved blanket (his security) and not knowing what to do without it. Change-that place of uncertainty where we’re caught in the middle. Letting go of the old and reaching for the new. We’re free falling without a parachute. We’re way out of our comfort zone, but something propels us forward.

For me, midlife has been a time of tremendous change. I lost my biological dad and my step-dad (since I was 7) very close in time to each other. I have had to change my entire lifestyle to accommodate the care of my elderly, not well, widowed mom. Just as I was being released from the responsibilities of being a full time mom (my daughter moved out), I was thrust into being a fairly full time caregiver. While my mom does still live independently, she requires a lot of supervision and no longer drives. This means that my days are filled with doctors’ appointments (a different doctor for each body part), pharmacy trips, and all the things that make up daily life for a middle aged baby boomer with a family, and an elderly woman. This was a change that was thrust upon me unexpectedly, and one that has taken awhile to adjust to.  However, we have bonded in ways that never would have happened outside of this change in our lives. Even though I sometimes resist the reality of my life at the moment, I hope that I have become a more caring, compassionate, and less selfish person through this turn of events.

So, while change sometimes brings negative circumstances, there is always something good to be gained as well. I think that the older I get, the more I realize that life is comprised of changes. As Benjamin Franklin stated, “When you’re finished changing, you’re finished.” Only death can stop change. It will be with us until we leave this world, and possibly after. (Surely you didn’t think we’d spend all of our time on clouds playing harps, did you?) God probably has lots of things for us to do, along with worshipping Him.

Life is always evolving, and if we are going to survive, we must evolve with it, always adapting to what lies ahead–learning from the past, but not living there. Just remember that whatever you are going through, it is not likely to continue forever (at the intensity of this present moment.) This too shall pass, and you will gain strength from it, and be able to go forward. There are so many devastating losses in life, but there are also so many delightful surprises if we just don’t give up. So look to the future, live in this moment, and adapt to the changes that come your way. It’s all a part of this thing called life…

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Make A Happy Ending To Your “Once Upon A Time”

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.“

Ashley Smith

 

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.“

Maria Robinson

 

 

Today I chose two quotes, because they both speak of making the most of your life right now. They’re about living in the present moment, and breathing in all that life has to offer. As the Maria Robinson quote says, we can’t really change the “Once upon a time…” part. But we can change the “And then…”

Life is precious or people wouldn’t fight so hard for it. Think of all the people in the world fighting to live–engaged in a battle against cancer or some other disease. They are willing to go through a lot just to have one more day. One more day with their loved ones, one more day to sing and dance and laugh and cry. And most of us just take it all for granted.

Yes, life is complicated; life is messy. You can’t jump in its mud without getting dirty. But then there are those refreshing showers of grace that wash over us, and those moments (just moments) when all is right with the world. God must have put that will to live within us–the determination to fight for our time here on earth. As we get older, we begin to wonder where the time went. Didn’t we have the rest of our lives to do all those things? To say the things we needed to say? And then someone close to us dies, and we realize that there are no guarantees at any age. We truly only have this moment–this priceless, never to be had again moment. What will we do with it?

This generation is one of the first to have children still at home, and aging, sickly parents to care for. Until our daughter moved out recently, I fit into that category. My stepdad (who was like my father, since age 7) suddenly died, almost 3 years ago, from complications of triple bypass surgery, and it was a horrendous way to go. (On a ventilator, gasping for breath, unconscious and unable to communicate, for the most part.) And all we could do was be there day after day, praying that he wouldn’t die, but feeling woefully certain that he was going to. (And sadly, he did.)

At that moment, I lost myself. No, actually I lost myself about 16 years ago when I adopted a beautiful 3 year old daughter. It was not at all what I had imagined, but I learned some of the greatest lessons of my life, and suffered some of the deepest pain. It was never easy or comfortably predictable, but I gave her my love and my life.

I thought that perhaps I would now retrieve it (my life, that is), but silly me, I should have known that life was going to throw me another crazy curve ball, and it certainly did. Suddenly I was more or less responsible for my mother. I thought that I was responsible for her happiness, and for keeping her alive. It was an awesome burden to bear, and I finally had to learn that I could not give her immortality or happiness. Her length of life would depend on God, and her happiness had to come from within. I really struggled with that, and almost drove myself crazy for a couple of years, until my body pleaded with me to give the job back to the Lord, or die myself. I reluctantly at first, (and then with great relief) surrendered my cargo, and a great deal of my anxiety. It felt good not to be God, and to just be myself again.

I came to terms with the fact that when my mom does die, she says she is ready. She still wants to live on her own, and even if it is risky, it would be my wish also. (She is an insulin dependent diabetic, who sometimes goes low.) The sorrow I carried for her, at the loss of my dad, was so heavy that I almost could not think of her without getting a piercing ache in my heart. (Often, I still do.) And having gone through all that with her, it did leave me with fears of my own, which I continually have to battle, and try and shake off.

So that brings us to the topic once again. Life–such a gift, such a treasure–and we throw so much of it away. So many days spent angry at things that have no significance, worried about things that rarely happen, and procrastinating about truly living our life.

The first quote says to “fight for your dreams.” Fight for them. It doesn’t matter how old you are. You have a dream. Don’t pack it away in an old, musty suitcase. Take it out, and shine it up, and fight for it. Modify it if you have to, but keep on dreaming it. Don’t lose yourself in the monotony of everyday living. Be unselfish and giving, but take care of yourself also. How can any of us give what we don’t possess? We have to find that place within that is real and genuine. The place that validates our uniqueness, in a dime-a-dozen world. Express who you are in writing, in singing, in dancing, in art, in fashion, in poetry, in style, and in your surroundings. You are a gift, and a gift needs to be opened, in order to be enjoyed. Open yourself to life’s possibilities and opportunities.

Find the beauty, and not just the beast. (Or find the beauty in the beast.) Don’t stifle your personality, don’t hide your light, and don’t conform to things that take away your ingenuity. Be creative, be childlike, and be a seeker on a journey. If others won’t dance to your song, dance by yourself. But never give up dancing.

It’s true that you cannot change your “Once upon a time…”, but you can start today, and make it a happy ending…

Please see other articles that I have written here:

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A Conscience That Works Overtime

Most men sell their souls and live with a good conscience on the proceeds.
— Logan Pearsall Smith, American-British editor and essayist (1865-1946)

All of my life I have had a conscience that worked overtime. I can remember only two lies that I told as a child (though there may have been more–but I don’t remember any.) Both involved getting into something that I shouldn’t have, and fearing to tell the truth about it. The first was my mother’s colored bath oil beads. I was fascinated by the beautiful rainbow colors, and must have put some in the tub (it’s all rather fuzzy.) But when I was asked, I declared that I did not. The other time was when I put M&Ms into a coke bottle. Much to my shock, the candy caused the drink to foam over like a raging volcano. My stepfather, who I was greatly afraid of at the time, inquired if I had put anything in the drink, and once again I denied my actions. I guess I still remember those times because they were so contrary to my nature. I was a very compliant and trustworthy child, who did not make a practice of telling lies. In fact, to this day, if I tell a willful lie, I will start to throw up, until I tell the truth. (A very good deterrent to lying, I might add.)

I believe that trust is essential in relationships. It means that I can count on you to demonstrate consistent, reliable character over time. I can depend on you, and place my confidence in you. And while none of us are perfect, if I trust you, I know that you will not purposefully deceive or hurt me. I think marriages, and most friendships, are built on that kind of trust.

People who are not trustworthy will continually break your heart. As they engage in lies over and over, their conscience becomes seared. It is easier and easier to tell a lie, because they have pushed down that inner voice for so long. It becomes a matter of just turning off the switch, and repressing the feelings that guide what is right and what is wrong. They say that animals do not have a conscience, and indeed, man becomes an animal without one.

It is also necessary to explore where the rules (that guide the conscience) have come from. I imagine that a great deal of what we describe as “listening to our conscience”, is actually living our lives based on what we have been taught is right or wrong. Certainly we could become very liberal in our thinking, based on society’s morals, and convince ourselves that what we want to do is okay. We could also come to feel that something perfectly acceptable and good, is not okay.

But that’s where I think the real conscience kicks in–and it resides deep down below the noise of society or oppressive religious bondage. There is a knowing instinctively about what is right and what is wrong. I think that God places it there, and when we become believers, it is the Holy Spirit, who becomes our truest Guide–more reliable than our own conscience. The Bible says that He leads us into all truth. When we come under the conviction (not condemnation) of the  Holy Spirit, it is an unmistakable feeling. Though we certainly can choose to ignore (or override) that voice, which is often a still, small voice.

As a society, we certainly need to find our conscience again. As a child of the 50s, I remember that all our friends and neighbors had basically the same ethics, (religious or not). A parent didn’t have to be afraid, generally, of what another family would expose their child to, because there was a common belief system about right and wrong, and what was appropriate, and what wasn’t. There was a basic morality that was shared by most good and decent people. (But today, those kind of neighborhoods are hard to find.)

It seems that nothing is black and white anymore. Situational ethics rule, and there’s always some kind of rationalization for breaking the formerly acknowledged rules of living. It has left some unsure of their moral compass. God can’t go to school anymore, and political correctness is our new Constitution.

As I consider all these things, I’m glad that I grew up when I did, and I’m glad that lying did not come easy for me. I’m grateful that my conscience worked overtime, and that it still does…

 

Beauty Is A Light From Within

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.  ~Kahlil Gibran

There are many ideas about what is truly beautiful in our society.  Is it a tall, thin, tan body? Perfectly straight, bright-white teeth? Thick, bouncy hair? Flawless skin? No imperfections? No signs of aging? Sadly, that is what many women are striving for. Teenagers are buying whitening strips for their teeth, every expensive hair product under the sun, as well as using dangerous acne prescriptions in order to have perfect skin. Many are anorexic, and even 9 and 10 year olds are worried about their weight. High school and college kids (as well as other ages) are willing to risk having melanoma in order to get the perfect tan at the local tanning salon, and some are receiving breast implants as graduation gifts.

All ages are having plastic surgery, liposuction, and botox injections. About the only thing real on some people is their eyes, and those probably have artificially colored contacts in them!

How did we come to this? Why are we promoting the idea that all our worth is found in the way we look? How many people (particularly women) go to bed at night crying, because they feel they aren’t attractive. And even the most beautiful people, feel they aren’t beautiful enough.

When someone values us only because of our outward appearance, they will be sorely disappointed as time takes its toll. (And it most surely will.) Our bodies were made to age gradually, and it’s a shame that we can’t accept it. Many stars that I see these days look like they just walked out of the wax museum. It’s really creepy that their faces don’t move when they talk or laugh. After a while, they begin to look like a corpse walking around. (I mean there’s only so much than even plastic surgery can do.)

Aging gracefully is a truly beautiful thing. Being at ease with ourselves, at any stage of life, is so wonderful. I think it is the pressure of society that has thrown us into a frenzy about the way we look. Computers can produce the perfect, customized magazine cover-girl. Air brushing takes care of the rest. The images that we are so often trying to emulate aren’t even real! They are carefully manufactured.

If you have even a pleasant face, be grateful, because you cannot imagine what someone who is considered ugly, flawed, or disfigured goes through in this superficial world. The taunting, teasing, and shunning has no doubt caused many to take their own lives. To be so totally rejected must be the worst kind of pain and misery. And yet there are those who will take time to see beneath the surface of the beautiful, and not so beautiful. I have known many gorgeous women, who were no longer beautiful to me, once I got to know them. (Who they really were spoke so much louder than how they looked.) On the other hand, I have known both men and women who would not be considered attractive in any way, that just glowed with radiance, because they were beautiful on the inside, and their features just didn’t matter.

You want to know someone that I thought was beautiful? Dale Evans. The older she got, the more beautiful she became, because the more of Jesus I saw in her. She always had something good to say about everyone. She loved people, and she let them know it. There was a light that radiated from within. The Bible tells us that man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart. How I wish more of us did…

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Fear and Regret-The Thieves of a Good Death

For what is it to die,

But to stand in the sun

And melt into the wind?   Kahlil Gibran

I was reading an article the other day that said the only thing that prevents us from dying a good death is fear and regret. I believe that is profoundly true. If we know where we’re going, and we are at peace about it, there will be little fear about eternity. When people are secure in their knowledge of God and salvation and heaven, I think their greatest fear is not about those things, but rather about dying a painful death–a death where one suffers. It seems that we have done quite well at keeping people alive longer, but not so good at keeping them healthy. Therefore, 2 out of 3 people die in hospitals or nursing homes. That is what we fear the most-suffering and dying away from home and our loved ones. It seems to me that a natural death should be treated with as much attention as a birth.  A person should be surrounded by loved ones, in his or her own bed, if possible. I think we fear nursing homes even more than hospitals. (But hospitals have their own demons.) So fear plays a great part in our thoughts about death. It’s not so much the dying that frightens us, but the process.

And then there’s the question of regrets. Regret means “to be very sorry for.” We can have regrets about things that we’ve done, or things that we haven’t done. While we can’t do a lot about the fear that surrounds the circumstances of our death, we can certainly do a great deal to prevent having regrets. It’s so important at every stage of our life, to take inventory of our relationships with others, of our dreams and goals, and of our satisfaction with ourselves. All these things are crucial if we are to die without regrets. Is there anyone we’re estranged from? We may not always be able to remedy this, but the least we can do is forgive that person to the best of our ability. While God’s heart is always reconciliation, his greatest desire is forgiveness. We can only control what we do and say, and find peace within. Many people live lives of bitterness because they cannot let go of an offense, and the person who hurt them is not suffering at all.

It’s also vital to examine our dreams and goals periodically. The great thing about dreams is that they can change and evolve. Perhaps we haven’t achieved exactly what we once desired, but we have managed to capture the essence of it in some other way. We may not be the professional dancer, but we can be the dance teacher. We might not have reached all our goals, but we can mentor someone who can carry on our vision. All through the Bible, I think that it is evident that God calls generations. Perhaps it is not just one man who can totally fulfill the vision, but in time it will be completed. It is the same in our lives. It is good to view the unfolding of our time on earth this way.

I once lamented to my counselor that I felt I had not achieved as much as I had hoped, and that I had always wanted to be somebody. (Whatever the heck that means.) She pointed out that I had enjoyed so many opportunities that many people do not. I have had my own radio show, been ordained as a minister, been a Bible teacher, taught sign language worship, been a grief counselor, owned a Christian coffeehouse, been a freelance writer and a professional singer, etc. I began to see and accept what she was saying, and realized how blessed I have been, as I have always wanted to be creative. And I have had many opportunities to express my creativity. So when you review or assess your life thus far, look at the opportunities you’ve had to do the things that you enjoy, and are good at. That counts for a lot. And you will often find that you have touched many more people than you ever dreamed. And remember, famous people, and very frequently wealthy ones, are not often happy. It is rare to find those who are. So take joy in your position in life, and your abundant blessings. Some people spend their entire lives just trying to put food on the table, and they never have a chance to think about what makes them happy or fulfilled.

And finally, how do you feel about yourself? Are you always displeased with who you are? Do you worry about how you look? Lately, I’ve spent a lot of time with my elderly, widowed mother, and I have noticed the longings of her heart to enjoy the things of youth again. Whenever we’ve been in the stores this spring, she has noticed the sun dresses, and always remarks how she wishes she could wear them once again. And her skin bruises very easily, and she feels that it is ugly, and I keep telling her that most people aren’t really staring at her bruises, though I understand that it bothers her, that her skin is discolored with black and blue marks. The doctors have said that it is aging, thin skin, and there is little to be done. Growing old is painful in so many ways, because there are so many losses, and when we were younger, we did not think that our lives would pass so quickly. But we can mourn the losses continually, or we can enjoy what we have left, treasuring every moment.

I think one of the greatest things about getting older, at least for me, is that I do accept myself more. I am not so vain as when I was younger. I am not so preoccupied with things that are superficial and really don’t matter, because I have suffered through the loss of loved ones, and I am finally beginning to learn what is really important in life. I do not push myself so hard for perfection, because I have decided that it is not even something that I desire. I learn from my mistakes, and find them valuable. I am learning to like myself a little more, and to do things that make me happy, because I am so much more aware of the passing of time.

So there you have it. There is only fear and regret that can rob us of a good death. We must turn to God with our fears, trusting in His love and care, and look to ourselves to make sure that we have no regrets…

Please see other articles that I have written here:

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Fast Food’s Dirty Little Secrets

Santa Claus is the only make-believe character that is more readily recognized by school children than Ronald McDonald, according to Erich Schlosser, author of Fast Food Nation. But fast food in America is not just for kids. We are an obese nation, and most of us spend more time than we’d like to admit, eating fast food. It has become a way of life for those who rush from one activity to another, with no time to grocery shop or cook. Most of our fast food decisions are not even planned. As the television ad says, “Life comes at you fast”, and we don’t spend a lot of time on meal planning. And why should we, when there’s plenty of fast food available on every street corner? It’s at the sports stadium, the carnival, Kmart, the shopping mall, concerts, the circus, the movies, the beach…well, you get the picture.

The Survey of Consumer Expenditures for 2006 reports that the average family in the United States spent almost half of its food budget on meals away from home. (No doubt the majority of that was spent on fast food.) The family-owned restaurant is becoming a faint memory, while fast food chain restaurants are springing up all over the cities and interstates.

Perhaps you’re wondering what’s so bad about a fast food strawberry milkshake now and then? Milk is good for you, isn’t it? And fresh strawberries are certainly healthy. That may be true, but in most fast food shakes you’ll find little milk and no strawberries. But what you will find, according to British research, is 59 ingredients, and 40 of them are chemicals. Let me name a few–amyl butyrate, ethyl heptanoate, methyl anthranilate, and 4-methylacetophenone. Tasty sounding, aren’t they? Nowhere will you find an actual strawberry. The whole “shake” (notice the absence of the word “milk” on the menu board) is made with artificial flavorings. But if you take a whiff, you’d swear you smell strawberries.

I nearly fainted when I read an ingredient list of a fast food “Happy Meal” that contained chicken nuggets, fries and a High-C drink. The list of additives was half a page long! Some of the chemical additives in fast food have been linked to tumors, cancer, and other health risks. (For a complete list of the ingredients see my link: Eco Child’s Play.)

Well, what about a fast food burger? Those shouldn’t be so bad. Wrong again. Apparently they’re not even made from the beef of one cow these days, according to Quality Health News. The USDA says that the typical fast food hamburger may contain hundreds of strips of beef from different cattle! I shudder to think how far the contaminated meat (of a cow with mad cow or any disease) could travel. Apparently, this is even true with the ground beef we now buy in the grocery store. Most of us remember the Jack in the Box fast food catastrophe in 1993, when four children died, and 750 were sickened, from a deadly strain of E. Coli bacteria. Even though a new meat inspection system is in place, because of that tragedy, consumers are still vulnerable to serious fast food risks.

And if that’s not bad enough, the buns have dangerous additives, and so much of the fast food is fried, and is heavy on the fat, salt, and sugar. According to Erich Schlosser (Fast Food Nation), there used to be local slaughter houses all throughout the U. S., but today just 13 massive slaughter houses supply most of our country’s fast food hamburger meat. So you can see why an outbreak could spread quickly across the nation.

Fast food has also been found to be psychologically and even physically addictive, because of its high fat and high sugar content. (Please see my earlier article on Food Addiction: Five Foods That Cause Physical and Emotional Dependencies.)

According to Quality Health News 2008, potassium bromate, a dough conditioner and bleaching agent that has been banned in many countries, is still being allowed in the United States and Japan. The International Agency for Research on Cancer labeled it a Category 2B carcinogen (possibly carcinogenic to humans). And yet, it is still currently used in the fast food buns served at Burger King, Arby’s and Wendy’s, as reported by the Center for Science in the Public Interest.

I could certainly go on and on, but it might be dinnertime where you are, and I already feel sick after researching this article. I guess the next question they’ll be asking at the fast food drive-thru will be, “Do you want E. Coli and chemical poisons with that? And would you like to Supersize it?”

Please read other articles that I have written here: http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/109497/lonnette_harrell.html

Sources: http://pameladrew.newsvine.com/_news/2006/09/02/349040-dirty-secrets-of-the-fast-food-nation
http://www.menshealth.com/16secrets/secretburgerking.html
http://www.pbs.org/newshour/extra/features/jan-june01/fast_food.html
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12616402
http://v.mercola.com/blogs/public_blog/Fast-Food-Milkshakes-Exposed-27226.aspx
http://www.guardian.co.uk/food/Story/0,,1759910,00.html
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Health/Story?id=2092568&page=2
http://www.vegsource.com/talk/earthsave/messages/1000270.html
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/01/31/health/main326858.shtml
http://www.qualityhealth.com/psp/6-shocking-fast-food-secrets/featurearticles/featuredArticle.jspa?rf=27712&mc=MTUwMjMyMjg.
http://ecochildsplay.com/2008/02/12/so-whats-in-that-happy-meal-besides-the-cheap-toy/

 

TSA Workers Theme Song: If I Only Had A Heart (Or A Brain)

I read an enjoyable, descriptive article today in The Wall Street Journal by Peggy Noonan-one of my favorite writers.  I wrote an abstract for it on Brijit, but alas, it was not the chosen one for today.  I will include it here:

Barefoot, carrying a rubber tub, and exiting a magnetometer, Americans are continually humiliated and harassed in busy airports, as they travel from coast to coast. Middle aged women are ordered into spread eagle stances, grannies are eyed suspiciously, and children are taken from their mommies–all in the name of security. And everyone has the right (in this land of opportunity) to be equally shamed. Noonan paints the perfect picture of the demoralization of our society. At Gate 14, not one weary traveler cares who won the Pennsylvania primaries, because they are convinced that no one can make their lives better.

Here’s the link to Peggy’s article: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB120906741679842493.html?mod=psp_editors_picks

Sad, but true commentary. All of us want airline travel to be safe. There’s no question about that, but we never bargained for a lifetime of total humiliation. The TSA has workers that have let a little power go their head.

Several years ago, I was traveling home from my father’s funeral in South Carolina, with my husband. We checked our bags, as usual, and then abruptly I heard my name being called over the loud speaker. My husband and I looked at each other with a questioning dread, and went straight to the counter. I identified myself, and then asked what was wrong. The most rude, abrasive man that I have ever met, dismissed my questions, and told me to get my arms off of his counter! I could hardly believe this. They would not tell me anything, and they would not let me sit down. They then proceeded to question me publicly about all the medications that I was taking. I tried to answer calmly, but was disgusted that all the passengers in line around me were able to hear my medical history. At any rate, the persistent rudeness caused me to cry. I watched as they rummaged madly through my carefully packed luggage, and I just could not imagine what had triggered all this. (My greatest crime was clean underwear.)

It turns out that the machine they run the luggage through, had pinpointed my suitcase for explosives! I almost passed out right there. They questioned where my luggage had been, and what my travel history had been. With tears in my eyes, I explained that I had just attended my father’s funeral, and was grieving. I told them that I had purchased the luggage at T. J. Maxx, before leaving home, and that it went through airport security just fine on the way to the funeral. My husband was afraid they might arrest me, and encouraged me to keep my emotions under control. I did, though I felt very violated, and couldn’t understand how a thing like this could happen. I was now a terrorist on the way home from my father’s funeral. Eventually, (a long eventually) they let us through, with no explanation of what had just happened, or why I was now allowed to pass through security. I sat at a table trying to eat, as we waited on our boarding time, and all I could do was cry. I was already depressed about my father’s death, and now I was embarrassed and confused. A friend of mine, now in the military, who works in the EOD (explosive ordinance) field,  told me that those machines are always giving false positives for explosives, and that they are not at all accurate. At any rate, when I finally arrived home in our small beach town, I returned the luggage (along with sharing my accused terrorist story), and the store obliged me with a refund. I did not however, make an exchange, as I was rather “gun shy” (excuse the pun) at this point. To this day, I have no idea what could have caused the machine to go off, and apparently neither did the TSA. However, they did not apologize or explain anything.  They treated me like a common criminal even when they decided to let me go on through security. I did write a letter of complaint, and received a letter in return. Nothing spectacular though, as the TSA receives numerous complaints daily, and it was more or less a “form letter” response.

This nightmare, or a similar one, occurs often these days. Most Americans are more than willing to endure a certain amount of indignities for safety, and we understand the need for hyper-vigilance. I am more than happy to cooperate with any needed procedures. I once offered to remove my wig (in public) when my hair clips set off the dreaded machine.  (Something most women wouldn’t do for any amount of money.)  So I am very accommodating! All I am objecting to is the  rudeness, and abuse of power, that some of the TSA workers exhibit. It seems that they fail to understand, that most of us are just normal people, trying to make the journeys of life, and are already under a fair amount of stress.

So I can really relate to Peggy Noonan’s article about Americans with glazed eyes, and fixed stares, resigned to being treated worse than cattle, and suspiciously regarded as terrorists in every airport in the U. S.  I’m all for security, but please, how about security with a heart (and a brain)?…

 Please see other articles that I have written here:

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Don’t Be Afraid of Life

“Don’t be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.” Grace Hansen 

Fear is what makes us lose this moment, while worrying about the future. Many of us search for security, and a comfortable existence. Don’t rock the boat; don’t stir the nest. But boats that don’t rock are quite boring, as are ships that never sail the seas. They are safe in harbor, but that is not the purpose of a boat. And when mother eagles feel it’s time for their little ones to fly, they begin to stir the nest, and make them uncomfortable. For who will ever learn to fly, if the nest holds all our dreams? 

Life was meant to be exciting, but fear imprisons us with warnings of, “Better be careful. Better take it easy. Don’t get your hopes up.”  Well what good are hopes that are down? Low hopes never helped anyone achieve anything. I say let your hopes rise to the sky, and never let them falter. If we view everything with hesitancy, we will always be afraid to move forward, because there are no guarantees about anything. But how much better, at the end of life to be able to say, “I tried.” If you tried, you did not fail. The only real failure is not making an effort to make your dreams come true.

Like the quote says, it’s not about fearing death…it’s about living life–to the fullest.  I can’t imagine anything sadder than to get to the end of life, and have regrets about things that you could have experienced. That’s not to say that we must do grand things, because sometimes the grandest things of all are the simplest. It’s about living every moment–greeting everyday as a great adventure, with anticipation and excitement about what the day holds. It’s about seeing beauty in the things that the some would hardly even notice. It’s about living and loving on purpose. Yes, on purpose. We are not made to blindly roam this earth without an understanding of our brevity here. For while the soul does indeed go on, there is only this one chance to be on earth. There is only this moment to love our families and friends, and to make a difference by our existence. That difference may be as simple as encouraging others, taking care of the elderly, nurturing a child, or giving of ourselves as the opportunity arises. Greatness is not found in the grandness of the task, but in the generosity of spirit.  I am reminded of a quote by Mother Teresa that always touched me deeply. She said, “We can do no great things; only small things with great love.”

So, as you can see, it is not the end of life that should give us pause, but rather life itself. I somehow think that the end of life will not be nearly as frightening as we might imagine. What is truly frightening for many, is living life…

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 Please see other articles that I have written here: http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/109497/lonnette_harrell.html

 

Quick Update on Health-Change Is Good

As most of you know, I’ve been trying to change my lifestyle in many ways. Eating better, exercising, and losing weight. I feel really good about the changes that I have implemented. I am eating very good nutritional food–no sugar, white flour, white bread, white potatoes, white rice, corn or starchy vegetables. I eat lean meat, vegetables (including beans), low sugar fruit, soups and salads. My weight loss has been nothing to shout about, which makes me want to scream, but if I continue to eat right and exercise, it has to come off right? (I’ve lost 2 lousy pounds.) I have exercised a lot, but can step that up even more also. I am doing pretty good with my sleep schedule. I’ve had about 3 slip ups, which isn’t bad for someone who was staying up all night fairly often, and sleeping in the day. Since I’ve changed my sleep schedule, I’m getting a lot more done, and I look forward to each day! I’ve gotten a lot more writing done at a time when I feel brighter and more energetic.

I asked my doctor if I got to my ideal weight, would I eventually still have to go on the needle (insulin) as a long time Type 2 diabetic? I also asked her what my ideal weight would be. At first, she said, 102. I had to laugh because I was very small in high school, and weighed 115 pounds. At 102, my husband would have to use a magnifying glass to find me! LOL! Then she said that was the low side for my height. (About height…I don’t have any.) I’m a whopping 5′2″. (So you can see the problem.) I presently weigh about 186, but I wear it pretty well, and don’t look too fat. She then changed my ideal weight to 138 on the high end. (My choice would be 135.) So I have quite a way to go, but with God’s help, I can do it!!!

The greatest news is…she said that if I get to my ideal weight, I could not only avoid the needle, but I could come off of some of my other meds, and I am on a lot. All my conditions go together–high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, low thyroid (treated), acid reflux, etc. Weight loss will improve everything! I am on way too many meds, so it would be great to come off of some of them eventually. I hate taking all these medicines.

She did add another dose of Glucophage ER (Metformin), so now I take (2) 500 mg tablets of Glucophage, and one tablet of Januvia for diabetes. Perhaps the added Glucophage will help to bring down the blood sugar even more. It is coming down, but very slowly. (And I had numbers in the 250s to 300.)

Unfortunately, I found out that the vertigo (dizziness) that I have been suffering from, is due to a sinus infection, so once again, I have to take antibiotics. I am so tired of this, and worry that I am taking far too many, but I have no choice. I just got over antibiotics for a second urinary tract infection (since December.) And so it goes.

So I have my work cut out for me, and it’s never been easy for me to lose weight, but if I do my part, I will eventually have success. I am committed to this way of eating, and my husband loves it also, so he is a great support. (He says that if I get down to 138, he’ll have to go on high blood pressure medicine! Cause I’ll look so good.) LOL! 

Please pray for me to achieve my goals. I go back in early July. No, I won’t have lost all the weight by then.  Not even close.  But I’ll be happy with whatever I achieve, as we have a vacation during that time also. I need to lose slow and steady for it to stay off, and be a healthy weight loss.

So my whole life is changing drastically–sleep schedule, eating habits, and exercise schedule. I like the changes, and am feeling better. Change is good…

Please see other articles that I have written here: http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/109497/lonnette_harrell.html