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I am a freelance writer, ordained minister, and collectibles dealer. I also enjoy singing. I love anything Victorian style, and I am a romantic at heart. I am married, with one beautiful 24 year old daughter. Please read some of my articles at Associated Content: http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/109497/lonnette_harrell.html

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7 Comments

  1. Thank you. Your words have touched me deeply. Having read a very little bit of what you have written I feel more loving and able to be present with my own feelings. Holding space for myself is the beginning to be able to hold space for others.

  2. Thanks so much for your encouraging remarks Dhyana. I hope you’ll come back. Lonnette

  3. I would love to correspond with you. Do you have an email where I could send my email address? Maybe a work one that we could delete quickly from public view? Thanks for your comments. Lonnette

  4. I found your blog by accident and thank you for making yourself so vulnerable. I am a pastor’s wife and have a mom with early Alzheimer’s. I feel as if I am on the verge of putting life and ministry on hold due to this. Perhaps, this is not ministry on hold, but a change in ministry. This may be the time that God works deeper in shaping me than ever before. May God’s grace cover you as you continue on this journey.

  5. Dear Sister in Christ Jesus,

    I pray you are doing well. My friend found your site as a link to pure gold. I am sorry for all you have been through with you mom and all. I am praying for you , though I do not see a recent update. I know you are blessed and highly favored of the Lord seeing you are His Child. HUGS and much love, Stacey

  6. Your blog is a real eye opener, essp. Article
    On words, we forget how words hurt and a lot of women stick out being called names not realising what it does to them!

  7. Thank you for addressing the subject about honoring the soul crushing, spirit breaking monsters some of us have for parents. My mother is 83 and seems to sharpen her destructive skills each year. I too seriously compromised my health caring for my mother’ whose whims were non-stop. I dished out supernatural compassion that I never experienced with her while growing up. In fact, she was incredible cruel to me as a child, but I returned love instead. Last month I had 11 calls in one day asking me when I was coming when I had a 600 mile drive ahead of me. I was getting there as fast as I could, and when I arrived after 11 hours of driving she woke me up at 2 am because she wanted to talk about how lonely she was.

    Boundary violations only increased with no regard to the impact on someone recovery from cancer (me) needing to do a little self care. Finally, she called me again, and this 600 mile move was for distance from her and asked me to take an old car she needed to get rid of off her property because her landlord said she could only have 1 car. I said, I can’t get there right now I was recovering from the flu, I said perhaps my son in law could. She said yes he is a nice boy. I called him, made the arrangements and called her back to ask what time would be convenient to which she replied in her dangerous voice “Sam (made up name for son in law) told me in a snotty way that I had a computer virus and hung up on me” I absolutely knew this wasn’t true but my mother at all times and in all ways have to be a “victim” She continued, you only call me because you want something and I’m not giving my car to that awful boy.” I reminded her she called me to get the car hauled away. It is 20 years old. She said ” I NEVER said that and hung up on me”

    Then I knew this pattern was increasing so much I couldn’t do it anymore. My siblings instructed her to not speak to me, it gives her a thrill to call me and tell me “I don’t know why they hate you so bad, but you understand I cannot tell them I am talking to you because I can’t have them mad at me” I am the scapegoat that got invited to Thanksgiving and called while loading my car up to be told “they decided they don’t want you here” This happened repeatedly despite promises “no one is every going to tell you that you cannot come again” When I returned her call the other day she spent the entire phone call from me telling me weepingly “I want to hear from L, my brother, why isn’t L calling me, do you L is trying to call me now? I love L so much, he is such a good boy, but he really HATES you…. Yeah.

    I got off the phone, changed my phone number, moved into no contact mode and had a belly laugh that my brother and sister now get mommy dearest’s demands on their shoulders full time! This is a fate worse than death and in giving her to them as golden children she can scapegoat me till the day she dies but I don’t have to hear it, see it, feel it or put up with it. I also felt spiritual released to renounce that relationship. It is the first time in a very long while that I have hope for my life, getting that dark cloud out of my life, what relief. Also, I never met anyone in my life that complained so much, it is a relief to NOT have to listen to her daily whine….


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