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Friday was an interesting day. Rob and I took a trip to a nearby town (about 2 hours away.) He had some adoption business there, and asked if I would like to go along. It was so nice to have the freedom to actually say yes.

On the way, he mentioned that the assisted living had called Thursday, and said that they had tried to reach me to tell me that my mother fell again, and was taken to the ER. Of course, we have had our numbers changed, so they were unable to reach me. They did have my husband’s number at the law office, and managed to reach him instead. He told them that my brother was the one to call in emergencies now, and they said they would contact him. My husband said that he had decided to wait until he heard that she was okay, before he told me about the fall, because he knew that I had been through a lot of stress (related to our no contact situation, and to my brother’s evil email.) So he decided not to tell me until Friday. He said that she was okay, and had been returned to the assisted living by dinner. He had no details about the fall at that time.

He dropped me off at Michael’s craft store, and I looked there for awhile, (and got some decorations for our small tree that we will take on our Christmas get away), and then I walked over to TJ Maxx to browse for awhile, while he got some adoption consents signed. Then he picked me up, and I spent a little while in a Goodwill store. I LOVE thrift stores. I have a collectibles booth in an indoor flea market and often find things to sell (and keep for myself) in various thrift stores.

While I was in the thrift store, Chelsea (our daughter) called him from England, where she is visiting her birth mom and birth grand-mom for the first time. My daughter will turn 20 next week.  It is her first Christmas away from home.  She called her dad all hyped up, and said that they are driving her crazy. She can’t get a word in edgewise. LOL! The birth mom talks constantly (about herself–she’s a diagnosed narcissist) and the birth grand-mom talks even more, according to my daughter.  She said that she may have to go stay where her birth mom is staying, because her grand-mom smokes like a chimney, and it is really getting to her. (She told her dad that she needed to talk to me about it, because “mom understands everything.” So funny!) Chelsea said that she wants to come home early. LOL! She was not due back until the 1st of the year. So I don’t know what will happen there. She said she loves her life here, and wanted to know if we could spend some “family time” together when she gets back.) So, God is going to use all this for the good of our family. It has been a struggle to raise her from the age of 3 (when we adopted her.) She came strong-willed, rebellious, and very difficult, but we knew that she was supposed to be in our family, and we hung in there through many tough times. I think she is learning now, what her life would have been like. So it’s all good…

Rob and I laughed together about Chelsea’s call, and then went to have a lovely dinner at Olive Garden. Then we raced home to have a little time in our cozy chairs, before bed time. It was a very nice day. A day like I have not had the pleasure of enjoying in a long, long time.

When my husband went Saturday afternoon, to get some of the things that needed to be brought back to our house, (since my mom is moving out of the assisted living), he said that she had a black eye. This fall apparently happened on the way to the dining room. She was in her wheelchair (being rolled by someone there), and wearing her bedroom slipper boots, and somehow her foot got turned, and caught on the floor, and she toppled forward out of the wheelchair, onto the floor.  So horrible.  I saw the results of something like this at the NH, when the lady next door to my mom, had something similar happen, and she fell out of the wheelchair and onto her face.  It looked terrifying.  Rob said that my mom’s was more of a bruised and black eye.  If you remember, my brother insinuated that my mom’s first fall (where she broke her right foot and left leg)  was the result of my “inability to safely transport her places.” (Such a jerk!!!) Apparently, I’m not the only one that has a problem. He will soon see, that in her condition, and given her challenges with mobility, that it is risky business trying to take her anywhere. (And I managed it safely for 3 1/2 years, because I was very protective and cautious.) I have a feeling that he will be educated in the dangers very soon, as he plans to take her home next week, and then sadly, she will really be vulnerable.  But that is their choice, and they will have to deal with the consequences. Particularly, when she refuses (as she often did with me) to use her walker. 

So all in all, Friday was a great day.  It was relaxing, and a wonderful time to reconnect with my husband. We have missed each other so much. We are finally finding out again how nice it is, to be happy together…

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  1. So glad to hear that your daughter is finding out sooner, rather than later, the realities of her roots…and appreciating the family she has in your family. That is nice. And, it will make her stronger that she has taken this trip and connected to her birth family. Glad to hear that she may come out of all of this “unscathed”…and that you will too. And, perhaps this experience will bring the two of you even closer together. There is nothing like a “mother” a “real” mother (the one that raises the child, is there for the child unconditionally)…and your daughter is finding that out quickly. Good for her and good for you. I noticed that this post, in particular, you were able to tell a story without a lot of anger and without a lot of “I told them so” type attitude. You simply explained it without the stress and anger that has come through your writings before. This is good. It is a step forward…and it must be nice that you can enjoy the day with your husband and truly enjoy one another – do the “simple” things you find so enjoyable. Also good for you!! Sparkle, I can tell you are getting that “sparkle” back in your life.

    God is looking out for you,

  2. Sparkle, your post sparkles. Do you know that? It even reads logically detached from your Mother. Good for you and sorry she got a black eye.

    And be proud, proud you were the right kind of a mother all these years and now I think the payoff is coming there to.

    Sparkle I do think you are adapting very well….but ya know I’m going to keep on checkin’ up on you!! Oh yes, lets get going to the thrift stores…..My Mother and I loved going to them. She and I would look at every single thing and come home with stuff. My sister is one of those that feels its just dead people’s stuff and she wouldn’t wear it or have it. Hmmmmn–now what is she going to call Momma’s things when i donate a lot of them???

    Sparkle, a big Hug and keep going up and up and up!!!
    My best to you,

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