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For the past 2 days, I have begun to glimpse that life can be good again. I sat in my cozy chair by the fireplace, with my husband nearby, and we talked, drank hot chocolate, and read one evening. Tonight we decorated his office for Christmas, and had the best time, and went to the Waffle House for dinner, and then raced back to our cozy chairs. We are taking time to hug each other again and say, “I love you.”

I’m telling you that since I removed the daggers from my heart, life is looking promising! (I grieved horribly for a whole week after some heart piercing lies from “Brother Dearest”–not so much for the loss of my narcissist mom (and nasty brother), but for the loss of my own life during these years. For the loss of my health, and most of all, peace.) I tried so hard to please her, because I truly loved her, even though I never could be good enough.
 
When my mother called me ugly, hateful names recently, I realized that I was killing myself for someone who didn’t like me very much at all, and never would. I began to ask myself why I was doing it. I was never going to get her unconditional love or approval. (I mean I’ve been at it for 56 years now.) So I called it quits, and gave her to my brother. (Merry Christmas!) Ha! They deserve each other! I simply could not keep on.

For those of you who are being emotionally abused, think about it long and hard. Life is short, and no one is promised tomorrow. Make the most of each and every day. I sure intend to…

 

   
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2 Comments

  1. I just found your blog… came from SR… sorry you are having so many struggles. My mom was a real problem too, but I’m the only one so I didn’t have to deal with multiple opinions of what should happen. Hang in there. “He is able to keep you from falling.”

  2. Hey Sparkle…you sound like you’re doing SO much better. I agree with you…why jump through hoops and kill yourself for someone who is just going to bitch about it anyway. It’s insanity.


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