Skip navigation

Lonnette Harrell

Living without regrets seems like an impossible endeavor, but I believe there are several ways to accomplish this goal. Nothing in life is ever really wasted, if you have learned something from it. You’ve gained experience, wisdom, and knowledge about what works, and what doesn’t.

On the other hand, living life while always looking in the rear-view mirror, is really no life at all. You will find yourself serving a life sentence of depression, guilt, sorrow, and shame. Living in the past makes you feel unworthy of the love of others, and even of God’s love. You can so easily become convinced that no one would really like you, if they really knew the kind of person you are. Your regrets can be like a noose around your neck, that gets tighter and tighter with each passing day. Often it isn’t God’s judgement, or the judgement of others, that will cause you to suffer unbearably. It is your judgement of yourself that is the most harsh.

So what is the answer? Simply put–forgiveness. Forgiveness from others, forgiveness of others, and most of all, forgiveness of yourself.

If there is a way to make things right, then you certainly should make every effort to do so. Apologize where necessary, and try not to hold grudges. Sometimes you simply can’t continue in a relationship, because the hurt has been so deep, but do everything within your power, to reconcile and restore. If the other person doesn’t reciprocate, then rest in the knowledge that you have done your part.

What if the person is no longer alive? God can give you peace, even in this situation, knowing that you are forgiven by Him. All it takes is to acknowledge your offense, and ask forgiveness. Then receive it, and try to move forward.

It is not possible to live a life without regrets minus an understanding of God’s forgiveness. It is His forgiveness that sets us free; it’s a freedom that cannot be found anywhere else.

The Apostle Paul, once known as Saul, was responsible for having many Christians persecuted terribly and murdered. He later became a believer in Christ. I imagine that his regrets must have been monumental!

And yet, he was able to say, “…this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

How much better off would all of us be if we could forget the troublesome things in our past, and reach forth to our future, pressing toward the mark? Most often, to move forward, we must let go of the past. Not the precious memories of good times, but the regrets, the “if onlys” and the “what ifs.” We have to quit dwelling on our failures, and move on toward success, because you cannot drive a car looking only in the rear-view mirror. You must look ahead. And so it is with life.

If Paul had only focused on his mistakes, sins, and atrocities, he would have been of no use to God. Satan’s trap is to convince us, that because of our past, we are not deserving of forgiveness, or worthy of being used by God. But if you look at numerous Bible characters, you will soon see that none were perfect. All of them made mistakes, and some committed terrible sins, including adultery and other sexual sins, disobedience, lying, and even murder, and yet God forgave them, and used them mightily. Why? Because they were willing to repent (to turn around and go another direction), and  they were willing to receive God’s forgiveness, and then move on. It can be the same for you.

Another aspect of living without regrets, is learning to make the most of every opportunity–living life to the fullest, and making your dreams come true. Taking risks and being adventuresome is sometimes necessary, if you want to achieve your goals. And even if you fail, hopefully, you have learned a lot along the way.

Living life without regrets also means being thankful and living life with gratitude, remembering that each day is a gift, with new possibilities of accomplishments. One of my favorite Bible verses talks about God’s mercies being “new every morning.” Sometimes we spend so much time pursuing big dreams, that we overlook the miracle of each new day.

I read an article recently, that suggested imagining that you were at your own funeral, and four people from different areas of your life (friends, co-workers, family, etc.) had been asked to make remarks about your life. What would you want them to say? The article suggested that this would be a good exercise in determining your purpose in life.

This really caused me to think deeply, as I realized that some people could be a great “success” at work, but fail miserably with their own families. If you have failed to love your family properly, you have failed horribly, regardless of the “so-called success” in other areas of your life. But even in this, you can find redemption. It is never too late to begin again, and to get your priorities right. Realizing that you are not just making decisions about today, but for eternity, is important.

Consider this–most likely within two (possibly three) generations, there will be no human likely to remember your name (unless you are terrifically famous.) Most of us don’t even know our great-grandparents names, and few, if any of us, know anyone beyond that (unless we’re deeply into genealogy.) I would like to do an article soon about the things that people do in order to obtain immortality. It’s amazing and ridiculous, and yet only the things we do for Christ really count. They are the only lasting achievements, and the only eternal ones.

So-if you want to live your life with no regrets, then examine your life closely. Look at your motives, your goals, your dreams, your priorities. Then look at them in view of eternity, and live your life to please God, and to advance His kingdom, and you will have no regrets…It’s all by forgiveness and His grace…

To read other articles that I have written please  view this page:




  2. Thank you so much Sandy! It IS sad when children are not allowed to express their creativity. I loved that video of the little girl with the paint all over her face and hands, and yet her mom was being so kind to her. She knew the secret of not stifling creativity. I remember when I was in high school, I had to make a dress in Home EC, and no one in my family was good at sewing, so it was a real struggle for me. My teacher said,
    “Lonnette, is this your home project?” I said proudly, “Yes, Mam.” Then she said, “Too bad you had to butcher it.” (I never tried to sew again.)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: