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I can remember a time in my life when I just wanted to become numb to feelings. I had been through so much with my adopted daughter, as well as some rocky times in a relationship, and just life in general, that my desire was to feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. Maybe that is a protective mechanism of the heart. But it is not successful for very long. We can go numb for awhile-like when we lose a loved one, or when we’ve been hurt (emotionally) very badly. But humans cannot stay that way for long. We are born with senses, emotions, and spirituality. We cannot turn these things off like a faucet of running water.

The greatest danger in shutting down to the bad things, is that we also shut down to the good things. Life is a mixture of both, and we really can’t have happiness without sadness, or joy without sorrow. To become numb is to lose our capacity to feel. Anything. That is not what we really want. We only want to escape the pain. But if we do not have the capacity for the pain, we find that we also do not have the intensity of the pleasure. This is what happens to people who “wall off” their hearts. They keep out the pain, but they also keep out the pleasure. They keep out the ugly, but they also lose the beautiful.

Buried emotions are not really dead. They are still causing trouble beneath the surface. Sometimes they cause physical illness, and other times mental problems. It takes a great deal of energy to keep your feelings underground. They’re kind of like dealing with a beach-ball underwater in a swimming pool. They just keep wanting to pop up from beneath the surface.

Without emotion we would be like robots. (I know some people who are.) We could get rid of the pain, but along with it would go the joy, the laughter, the love. 

Many people detach in order to cope with situations. This can be helpful temporarily, but if it continues too long, it will profoundly affect who you are.

So, even when things hurt, go ahead and feel the hurt. In not suppressing the pain, you will also be creating a greater capacity for all the good emotions…

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