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Well, I made it through the weekend after suffering some of the worst written attacks ever, because of a misunderstanding on a board where I was a Moderator, and a member for 2 years.  I have had chest pains, nausea, and emotional stress and distress, for several days now, but I am finally coming out of that dark and painful place.

Every time that something like this happens, I tell myself I will not let my emotions get involved, or that I will not let myself get hurt so deeply. Ha! When people are out to crucify you, they know the way to do it, and unless you are a robot, you cannot help but react to their fiery darts of cruelty and hatred. (Where’s my shield of faith to quench them?)

The solace I find is that Christ endured so much more. The rejection, the cruelty, the mocking, the jealousy, and the hatred. I try to think of His sufferings, and know that when I partake of some of the painful things that He did, I am closer to Him.

When I am hurt, and beyond human consolation, I have always felt His presence very near. At times I would give anything to actually see Him, but I don’t require that to believe. His Word is enough. I feel His peace when my heart is broken in two. I believe when I am hurt, that He weeps over me. Why do I say that? Because He doesn’t want to see me hurt, and He is a perfect father. No father wants to see their child hurt.

He knows what it feels like to be persecuted, and mistreated. He knows how cruel people can be. He understands.

Whenever you are trying to do something good, Satan will always show up. He hates goodness, because he is evil. He works through people who will allow him to use them. We are not fighting flesh and blood; we are fighting principalities and powers of darkness.

I wish I was stronger at times. But sometimes there is no way to keep going, even when you feel called to something. The attacks are so vicious, and the hatred so deep. I would like to be like Christ, but I fail miserably, and often give up, because I cannot take the pain.

But I am stronger than I once was. I have been through so much sorrow and heartache, that I had to get stronger or die. (And I know there are many reading this who have been through so much more.) Life toughens you. The secret is to toughen somewhat, while maintaining the ability to be tender. It is not an easy task.

If I could trade my tenderness for toughness, I would not. It is my tenderness that allows me to feel the pain of others, and to want to reach out and comfort them. Though my sensitivity has brought me great pain at times, it has often allowed me to experience great joy. I think that the world needs more tenderness, tempered with toughness when needed.

They say that a flower trampled leaves the sweetest fragrance. May it be so in my life…

Please view other articles that I have written here:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/109497/lonnette_harrell.html

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One Comment

  1. you find such beautiful, peaceful & scenic vieos .GOD BLESS YOU


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