If teardrops were diamonds
How wealthy I’d be.
If heartaches were dollars
I’d purchase the sea.
An ocean of sorrow
Is where I now dwell,
Still dreaming of heaven-
But living in hell.
So much betrayal
And poisoning words
No one is listening
I need to be heard.
If you want to judge me
Be careful, my friend
You may find yourself
Being judged in the end.
For you have not walked
The miles I have tread
And you have not felt
You were better off dead.
But your words are lethal
They cut and they kill.
Like a knife in your hand
They stab till I’m still.
And you are a murderer-
Making me bleed.
But not from my veins-
From my heart and my need.
I reach out for comfort
But you walk away
Leaving me lifeless-
I can’t make you stay.
And I find no solace
On this icy ground,
Just hatred and evil
No love to be found.
So shout out your words
And then walk away,
Wearing a smile
As you hurt and betray-
One who loves you
True and deep-
The one whose trust
You could not keep.
And tears will fall
Like freezing rain-
Tender drops of crystal pain.
As I watch you go…
Lonnette
Well, it’s just one more loss in a sea of losses, since I became estranged from my mother. This time it’s a cousin, who was like a brother to me. We were raised together for quite a few years. But he has condemned me with his bitter words, because he cannot see beyond the unyielding stance that he has taken. He cannot understand that I was close to dying, and still am, if this stress continues. Still, he keeps pushing me to do more, and I cannot. I have to save my own life now. That’s all the strength I have left. And I have nurtured my mother in the last 3 1/2 years more than she ever nurtured me in my entire life. I did all that I could, and I was rewarded with unkind words and hurt. It was never enough, and it would never be enough. People who judge are in peril of judgment themselves. You cannot fully know my pain, my struggles, or my sorrow. So do not judge me, for I can look my God in the face and say that I truly did the best I could. If He does not require more from me, how can you? You lost someone who truly loved you–someone who truly cared…
